I have a daughter, she's my idol.
Well. Hello. I have missed blogging. I was looking for something in the blog archives this week and I just got so nostalgic! All these people who have passed by here, all this life that has happened. I just went and disappeared in instagram, I didn't tell about it to almost anyone and I also haven't really been looking for anyone there. It is just so exhausting when you suddenly come across someone and they have posted 5000 pictures. What are you gonna do? Waste time. Get inspired. Forget about it instantly. Find someone again, o my god what beauty! I love it how fast it is to post a photo there, but the problem is that the phone is always at hand, you think you take a quick look and if you calculate all these quick looks,it's a lot of time. Well you don't calculate, you just avoid thinking about it. Anyway, sometimes you get to see something SO great, that it somehow makes it worth it. Time, my eternal problem, how to spend it meaningfully.
I was also looking at a lot of photos, from my still relatively new camera. It starts with the kittens in spring. There's spring, summer, autumn and now this. Whatever season this is.
If you are still here, let me know. Hope you're well. I am kinda well. We all are. ♡
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Hei. Moi. Tuntuupa kummalta kirjoittaa tänne näin pitkän ajan jälkeen. Pöytäkuvia löytyi kamerasta niin naurettavat määrät, että ne ovat paluukuvani tänne. On ollut ikävä!
March is ending already! The time of "willow-cats" is almost over, we discovered a strange forest, a drawing little V made me weeks ago, we have three little kittens (they are now 2 weeks old).
Life is quite ok, but there are super-stressful things going on. I don't know where to be, how to be. I should start running like everybody else. Running as in jogging.
The kittens are adorable. The kids are cool. The grown-ups not so cool, it's not always easy to hide the stress stuff.
I started a Japan-club at the school for 3rd to 6th graders. It's fun.
Spring.
Oh and I have to admit I started being on instagram after trying it unsuccessfully years ago. I have a new phone that makes it more possible. I spent almost one year with a crushed glass.
And these photos are taken with my new camera! The kittens are very hard to photograph especially with manual focus.
Hello! Now this is an old photo. V looks so small! Is it 4 years ago, I have to check.
I was once approached by someone who was going to make a book on kids' creativity and art. They thought they would use this photo as the cover of the book, so I never posted it here. I was going to, I even said so in a blog post. But here it is now. One of my favourite photos. The crocodile is still not in the oven, but on top of the oven.
The book project sounded so wonderful, it's such a shame it never happened. I totally get it, and it's somehow comforting to know that other people also don't manage to make everything happen, no matter how much they want it. Those people are making something else happen though. I've been so frustrated lately about not making things happen. I'm just not that person. I think I have all these brilliant ideas, but they just stay with me and I forget them eventually. Then occasionally remember, and regret.
At the same time, 4-5-years ago, me and Y had a book project plan, that was equally wonderful and what happened with that. Nothing.
This summer Y is participating in an exhibition and I'm excited and happy about that. It's so close to me, that it's almost me. I get to do some curating at least!
I'm dealing with some vaguely disappointed (in myself) feelings here, but there are things to be happy about:
- the kids (always)
- spring is coming
- a beautiful new cup
- beautiful new earrings
- deepening friendships
I've been going through a lot of photos lately. Y is making a booklet for someone and he's using my photos as additional photos. It's nice to see or rather, nice to hear, that he thinks the pictures that I take make a whole, there is something recognizable in all of them. That's a good thing.
I've still been tired, tired of working, tired of cooking, tired of getting up. It's that time of year... I guess. We have lots and lots of snow, but it's not cold, + degrees all the time. That's also good (the being tired is not so good, but I'm a tired kinda person anyway).
I have a book that my sister has made and given to me. I started making a drawing every day on Jan 1st. Now I wish the book was thicker, I'm almost half way already. Drawing one picture every day makes me wanna draw more than just one. Good.
Little V likes his daycare place, a bit more than before it seems. We had to look for another one after the kindergarten crisis. We have a good alternative. So that's good.
V is as productive as ever and becoming more and more her own person. A pretty complex and layered person I'd say. And strong. That's good and interesting and inspiring.
Y has new photography enthusiasm, I'm happy about that. It has a LOT to do with new equipment he's been getting. But also thanks to the new equipment, he's able to use his old lenses. He's been taking BEAUTIFUL pictures. That's good.
Because of all that I will get a new camera too. Or I have it already. And I will be able to use my old Canon lens that I bought in Shinjuku Yodobashi Camera ages ago. I find that pretty exciting and cool. And good.
Random set of photos, all taken this year, I think. (We get rid of the christmas tree on the 6th.) In the top photo they're giving out prizes to everyone at the kung-fu school.
I am super tired. But not pregnant nor depressed.
A bouquet from Vieno Motors
My sister and her baby
My sister's dog
My sister's dog
Our little black cat
A bouquet from Vieno Motors
The year is ending with a more active social life, I like that. It's been a heavy year I would say. So so many divorces and break-ups around us. The latest one was announced on the morning of 24th. I've been saying that when we break up we'll do it with a more unique timing. There's still one day to join the divorcés of 2014. My work scene has been quite heavy, and it even sounds heavier than how I've experienced it. But I've been ok financially, that's a welcome change. My ok is on the limits of poor, statistically, but I don't feel poor. But it's so good when you don't have to worry and use a lot energy for money thinking. The kids are growing, they're having a good life. What nice things did I do this year? I have to think about that. I saw Boyhood at a movie theatre.
(Oh this is the 700th post)
Our christmas this year is:
my sister, her man, their baby (6 months), their dog
a beautiful tree from our friends
no stress
some more ironing
date cake
raw chocolate cake
smoked tofu
vegetables with herbs
salad
glögi
lots of beautiful white snow
something else too, what? too many presents
little V is taking his nap under the christmas tree
This month really goes fast. Now we are officially on holiday! Yesterday my baby played the accordion a lot at the school party and it went so well. I am so proud of her. So happy that my child is experiencing music, learning, playing, feeling. Her class recited the christmas gospel and she was one of the three angels too. I like the school parties, I like the little community we have. We went to a pizza party at friends' house afterwards and came back home not too late.
Christmas would need some work, some cleaning and cooking and wrapping. My sister, her man and their baby will come spend the christmas with us. That's special and wonderful. One problem is that I ordered some wooden toys from Germany, and that lousy company still didn't send me my package. Also they don't answer e-mails. Never again from that place. I still didn't finish my knittings either. That doesn't stop me from planning new ones.
I've found out that I like ironing.
What I used to shoot before: the field series. Don't miss it. But it's pretty. I liked it. There's a one-year old kid in our old house and a puppy. We've lived here for 2 years.
I'm back to life, back to work. One kid told me at school today that "you're not allowed to get sick anymore". It came from a very unexpected mouth, nice. 2 more days, then the christmas party. Then holiday!!
I honestly thought I would post one picture every day in December. Archive pictures that I like for some reason -- easy. But apparently not. After a couple of missed days, I thought ok i will post "2, 3, 4, 5" all at once. Oh well who cares. If it doesn't happen it doesn't happen. The first one was a new one though. This is 15. We had just put up the Paradise wallpaper. I don't miss it. I get this strange feeling in my throat or somewhere when I look at photos from the early Manteli days. Maybe you thought I was happy then. But I was not happy. Right now I'm not too happy either because I'm sick since almost one week. Ok I was happy about some things. Now I'm just tired. But it will get better again. Christmas is super soon. I have an orange vest and siberian tiger socks to knit.
First of December, already! I'm thinking about a lot of stuff. So many things to do and think and so little time. That's how I like it, but still, I'd like to get some more things done. Same old story. This is my christmas calendar. Maybe. Stay tuned.
... just for one or two days. After the snow is gone it's just dark. I don't mind. I'm usually not too bothered about winter until after new year's. The darkness is so intense that I find it a bit funny. Not that I'm all that cheerful a person either. And you know, I have the table series, the table usually loaded with all kinds of shit, but in my house, every horizontal place is full of stuff. I could be doing the series wherever. What is good about the kitchen table is that it's changing more.
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I'm working with kids again, school kids now. I feel so happy that I was able to move on from a situation that was so unhealthy. (And as the situation includes children it's even more unhealthy. It just got so bad I had to quit. I even got little V a good babysitter that I do trust.) School kids are something else. The oldest ones I'm dealing with are 12. I started planning my "Japan club" again. All the kids are into Japan. My club would be an improvised combination of language, culture, crafts.
Working makes me pretty happy. I like to have my work time and free time clearly separated -- that's something I haven't experienced so much. I like being nice to kids. But I'm also super strict. My goal is to be an ok grown-up they meet for a limited time in their lives. Every Friday feels like a party day. Well a party day at home, baking, doing laundry etc. On Saturday there will be a real party, a house party for grown-ups.
Some tables again.
1. Preparing for little V's birthday. He's doing it "the Carrot Palace" way, you know? No? I didn't know either. (Peeling all around the whole table.)
2. Quick morning on a school fair day. She's wearing a finnish national dress of Munsala are (or so I'm told).
3. Y is aware of my series. "You should take a photo of this, what a chaos!" (Nothing new. But the situation has been a bit better since the birthday party.)
4. is a lemon squeezer I just got. Cute. Made in Germany.
I started working this week! It feels very nice. The problem is my little one doesn't have a daycare place anymore. But I'm lucky to have a friend who's taking good care of him. And my days are short. A new chapter in life!
Time flies. 40 years, for me to exist on this earth, have flown by. I'm pretty old! Forty sounds very cool, I think. I got a lipstick, never had one before.
We went to Estonia for a little bit, I hadn't been there in years. (It's not so nice to be a Finn there.)
I would need a babysitter, and a job. Not necessarily though!
The season is changing and the life is changing too.
I miss experiencing more culture. We saw the dance solo of a friend recently and it was great. So thought-provoking and true and funny too.
These days I'm into knitting, The Knick (hbo series), firewood, rugs, braiding and talking on the phone. And lipstick!
